2020
A new decade has landed and the embers of the festive season are now fizzling out as the “January Blues” swirl into town. The twilight zone, where time simply disappears in between the 25th December and the 2nd of January and each day becomes a Sunday, is now fading away as we catapult back to reality.
We raise a glass to those we have lost, not just the last 12 months but also those from our heart at any given point in our very own Sands of Time. Up and down the country we see tributes, ranging from precious photographs shared on social media to memorials.
Jan 2nd 1971, 66 souls went to a football match and never returned home. Every year they are remembered as are the 96 Angels of Hillsborough. We will always honour them.
Football as much as it can be vilified can also be powerful when it unites us. You see traditional “rivals” on the field offer hands of friendship and also a timely reminder of the importance of treating the game as such. With tolerance and respect regardless of results.
I’m very fortunate to have a “football family” who are also very caring and compassionate. Too many to mention, however, you know who you are.
We pay tribute every single day to those we have lost by living the best life we can. For myself, this journey began 10 years ago with my Son, Kyle, who was born asleep.
For many, it’s a cold time of year in every sense. A months wage to last 6 years and the return to work. Last year ironically feeling exactly just that.
Before I go any further I want to say, please never feel alone, especially at this time of year. Talk to someone, anyone. My own DMs always open. I can testify first hand that bereaved parents often slip the net. As a bereaved father, “you need To be strong as the Man” was used on more than one occasion. Maybe a reason why my pain remained bottled up for so long.
Some of us set targets and goals. Something to look forward to and achieve for the coming year. It can range from fitness, running that 1st mile to a marathon. A new diet or simply just a new you. However, it’s also fair to remember that it’s perfectly fine to be the same old you. Not everyone needs to change and nobody should ever feel pressured to.
My own outlook has altered dramatically over the past 10 years. My main goal as it has been the last decade? To climb out of bed every day with thanks for being here. Simple but effective. When you lose a child, part of you dies too. You are broken but crucially not beyond repair. Time can heal and although you will never be the same, you can learn to live once more.
Getting up every day, wanting to be here was conquering a mountain. Mentally maybe but still a victory. Each time I open my curtains, Ben Nevis, our highest peak in the British Isles proudly stares back at me. Almost an unspoken acknowledgement that I’m doing ok.
I’m looking forward to 2020 as the year those said mountains offer their solace and support. I want to tell you about the power of teamwork, friendship and walking side by side.
Last summer a last-minute idea coupled with the perfect weather window presented an opportunity. To make the most of the breathtaking part of the world I’m lucky enough to call home and scale the mountain that stares back every day with a twist. A 1 am start to chase sunrise.
As we ascended into the cool summer breeze, already a feeling that something beautiful was being crafted above. A couple of hours of trekking, laughing, cursing and appreciating the wonders finally drew silence as we stepped onto the summit. Not quite the moon landings but for us, the Stars (For Harris) were standing down as the Sun welcomed us. For 30 golden minutes, we were the 2 highest humans in the UK as we took in the wonders I was guilty of taking for granted right under my nose. It was just sheer bliss.
Those stars gave me a feeling. A gut feeling and one to trust. No sooner had my feet landed at sea level had the laptop fired up. Emails sent out to other Children’s charities explaining the wonder I had just witnessed and asking them to consider taking on this majestic challenge as one. Uniting to raise awareness for Child loss and hopefully helping others.
Then reality hits. What have I done? A Co-Founder of our own charity barely 4 months old brazenly asking some massive names to join this crazy idea. Silence and doubt can be a brutal combination that spread seeds of negativity in a mind that’s already been prone to earthquakes.
Ping!
It started with one, then another. Replies chasing away any lingering negativity. Other like-minded individuals looking to chat and explore the options lying ahead.
Several emails and phone calls became a conference call. That, in turn, became 2 and 3 and fate was delivering some new friendships. We had amassed 10 Children’s charities all with a common goal of working as one. We had agreed on a date of Saturday, June 13th 2020 for an Overnight climb of Ben Nevis and officially in November 2019 #Bigstepsforsmallfeet came to be.
I’m a Father who just loves his kids like anyone else. What began as a pipe dream is now a reality. It’s not easy being on this road. You are often isolated. You lose many friends although you will gain some precious ones for life. You are part of an exclusive club that nobody wants to join, although once you are there you lookout for new members you hope don’t pass through the door.
Hopefully, we will show that no mountain is too tall for our children. We will walk together, talk together. Laugh together and cry together. As someone else beautifully said “Maybe I can’t stop the downpour but I’ll always join you for a walk in the rain”
If you want to join us, please see the link below. Also are the links to the 10 Charities involved and please take a look at the work they do.
14 babies die before, during or shortly after birth every day in the UK. That’s 14 too many. One day I hope this figure is Zero or as close to that as possible.
Thank you for your time.
Always a rainbow. 🌠🌈💙
https://www.discoveradventure.com/challenges/big-steps-for-small-feet
Www.anamcarafasgadh.org
Www.bliss.org.uk
Www.childbereavementuk.org
Www.thelullabytrust.org.uk
Www.sands.org.uk
Www.sands-lothians.org.uk
Www.starforharris.co.uk
Www.twinstrust.org
Www.togetherforshortlives.org.uk
Www.tommys.org
This post was originally shared on Anam Cara Fasgadh Founder Michael McGuire’s site HERE